Idaho Trip (October 30th - November 13)

This was Josh's first time being home since the baby shower and it was all about him. Josh was more focused on hunting because he was wanting to put meat on the table as he would say. We ended up getting a four point buck. He shot it after being there for less than a week but he still went hunting with his dad, he almost bought another deer tag so we can get more meat, but it would have been a pain to carry more than one deer back home. (We did package it up and stuff) It was hard to juggle both families, with Addysons bedtime being at 7 pm and of course her lovely fits because she is teething. My first time leaving Addyson with Josh's mom was the first Thursday we were there. She did good, but I think it was harder on me than Addyson. Josh and I just went down in the canyon where we road the four wheeler all over. We were only gone for a couple hours. Josh made me shoot his gun, I am scared of them! But I did it, that night is when he shot his buck. We took Justin & Addyson to the book fair where all our old teachers from High school & mine from Elementary could aww over them. We got a couple Christmas books for Addyson & Grandma Rhonda got both of the kids a book. Also on this trip we stayed at Josh's grandpa's house and met his new girlfriend who is moving into his house with him, it's strange, I know he had girlfriends in the past after the divorce & death of Josh's grandma, but just seeing him with a woman was awkward, but I am happy that he is happy, just hopefully he doesn't end up giving her all the "Stuart land/properties" because not that its my place to say it but I think they should stay in the family. Addyson is doing really well with her food eating, when I fed her more squash at Grandma Rhonda's house she loved it she was going crazy, we were cracking up about it. We had a fun time in the end. I am a little upset that I didn't get to see my parents as much as I wanted to see them but it was good to be around them. I just wish I wouldn't have to hear that so and so saw her more than I did from both families. It drives me nuts. Oh, and Josh did have a decent birthday. I can't believe my high school sweetheart is finally the big 21! (yes, we're young still)

Happy 1st Halloween Addy

Addyson's first Halloween. We're all going to Lewiston. Josh and I are leaving earlier than my mom so we can see his Grandpa Dave. I guess Addyson wants to start the party early its 6 and we are awake! As I made my way back out to Josh's grandpas house I didn't realize that we were going to his parent's to show them Addyson's costume. I think that Addyson was sick of changing into it and out of it the first time at thier house. We didn't leave until later and my mom ended up being right behind us on the two hour drive to Lewiston. It was really stressful because everyone wanted us to do something, like Josh's gram, I love her to death, but she was really stalling us and I don't think my mom was happy that we didn't get to see many people, but oh well. Our main goal was to go to The Hartig's house because when they lived up on the hill kind of by my parents we use to go their every Halloween to warm up and eat popcorn balls Mrs. Wilma Hartig would make. It was special, Addyson had her first sucker there. I think she loved it because now she tries to steal her cousin Justin's suckers. I was a little worried about her having sugar at five months. But it helped her relax with all this teething business. I ended up departing from my mom and going to dinner with Josh's grandpa Dave, even though we were suppose to have lunch and not dinner but it turned out OK, even though I am still upset Addyson didn't go see family in Weippe or go with Justin out and about, but our last stop was the Heintz' house where they were having their Halloween Party. Addyson was so tired she just stared at people and then Mindy, my good friend, rocked her to sleep. It was a good first Halloween when we arrived there. We didn't get back up on the hill until 1 in the morning and Josh made me drive home and I have no clue how we made it hope, just as long as it was safe!

Fall 2010; Our Travel to Idaho.

We ended up leaving the following morning. Which I still am tired from that previous night. Addyson has been teething, so she's more cranky. The trip started out good, due to I just woke up and I wasn't exhausted yet from the trip. We stopped a few times. The dogs were driving us crazy along with Addyson's screaming. You get use to it but it takes a few miles before you do. I am glad we just made it. EVERYONE made peace, so Josh's birthday was decent. Except they sort of have done what I wanted them to do all along have a "FAMILY" thing, except Josh's sister's ex-boyfriend/friend (whatever he is) was there, drinking! Which I wasn't wanting to allow in the first place. I don't like how when they were leaving Nicole was actually going to let him drive (as far as I know that is how it went) with our nephew Justin in the car. Justin loves Addyson, he wanted her to play with her, but she can only do so much, even though she thinks she can do everything. Last night we also went to my step dads family/my cousins birthday party Mom was showing off Addyson. It gave me lots of ideas for Addyson. One thing that I remember and always will remember the couple with the Eco friendly car the little two seater, had their top back and its like 35 degrees and we are like what the heck and we drove past them and they were all wearing WINTER gear. hahaa I was cracking up so hard! But I think in the end Josh had a decent birthday and I am still having to put on a fake smile and pretend I am ok! That's alright, right?

Happy Birthday to My LOVE!

Saturday is Josh's 21st Birthday.
After all the chaos of his birthday party and how
he isn't going to have one, I hope he has a special
day anyways, and we have a fun first date since baby.
Maybe he'll have a drink to relax.
(oh yes, we aren't big drinkers so this maybe a fun time for him)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY Joshua Michael, I love you!

& we're off.

We're leaving for Idaho, our other home. Well not until noon since Josh has a PRT which is where they get tested on their running, push ups, and set ups, see if they are still in the NAVY standards. I wish it was canceled so we can make it to the "Big Community Halloween Carnival." I'm excited to go spend time with my family. I am really excited to see my Grandparents. It's not as fun when you go home, everyone is moved off "the hill" (my home town is on a mountain) and moved down in "the valley" (Josh's home town) but since we'll be in town a couple times I might have to make an appearance at a few houses. Maybe go trick r' treat at Ian Stemmys house (aka Stemrich, a childhood friend) I know his mom wants us to go to her house, shes an amazing person. I am also excited that the book fair is going on, I am wanting to get Addyson some books for Christmas, even though I haven't read her all the books Great Grandma Lohman gave her. Yesterday we spent the entire day packing and cleaning the house in case Nicole and our nephew come back here for a visit. It was really hard to do everything with a baby who knows what she wants, and if she doesn't get it throws the biggest fit ever, yup that would be Addyson! In the end we got it done. The car is stocked except a few items we need for the morning. We got some people to watch Calvin but I think we're going to take him, Just feels like we should, so our car is going to be fully stocked with one small dog, a screaming baby, a nervous husband, an annoyed mommy, and a big hairy dog. Its going to be a GRAND trip. I really hope we enjoy it though. Memories, right? But as for the family issues, they have took a turn for the worst so we are really nervous for going home, and I feel bad because Josh's sister is getting in the middle of it and I wish she wasn't because its hard enough. But luckily she's trying to be fix it girl, which I think it's going to take a lot. I just want to focus on what makes me and Addyson happy, and all this drama isn't. I really wish I had someone to talk to besides my husband. With Mandy gone I've tired to be around other girls, Megan works, Ashley just doesn't really seem like she wants to hang out, and Josh's co-worker, Witlow, she hung out with me for a little bit before they all went to the movie. I just feel so lonely. I guess this is a military wife's life. And it really sucks when your semi-close friends that you had in school and all your life don't text you back! I hate that. Haha, its hard enough to text with Addyson, she likes to grab my phone. FUNNY MOMENT: Addyson is obsessed with Paco, as I've posted a lot lately. Well she's been hysterically laughing at him, I get all teary because its just too cute to hear her laugh. I just love it. So Paco better watch out he is definitely going to be in for it when she is crawling. So I pray we have a safe trip and an actually smooth nice visit to Idaho. And we're off....

& so it's Wednesday.....

Josh goes on leave today. I am excited to have him here to help me with things. I am a little mad that he left me to go hang out with his friends. I seriously was going to lose it. We talked for an hour, I didn't get anywhere. He's learning I guess as time goes on and so am I. Since Josh's mom's "depression" crisis, she didn't call him back. I just don't think I could ever leave Addyson on the deep end and keep thinking somethings wrong with me when there isn't. I don't know if this is their whole "I'm not crossing a boundary" thing, but its honestly ridiculous. They might contact him before we leave. I just need to move on from it but I just can't, I'm so angry. Mainly because I know they don't really care much about Addyson. I just don't understand why they wouldn't want to know how she is doing. My mom asks like EVERY DAY but that's just her. So we'll see if this trip is going to be gumdrops, lollipops, and chocolate trees. Then RUMORS play a part in this whole thing. My sister has recently adopted a rumor about herself. Apparently I am going to be an Aunt. Don't worry it's not true. That's just the bottom of the ice burg. She actually smokes weed all the time, even before school. She's baked constantly. Yeah, Josh's sister told me that one. I sometimes feel like its Josh's Family VS. My Family. Ya know? Especially since they use my family to watch their grandchild. I'm pretty sure my father (who doesn't get involved in anything what so ever) has seen Josh's nephew more than he has, ever. Don't get me wrong, Nicole (our nephews mom) and I have a better relationship than I thought we would ever have, but there are things I disagree with and I am sure she disagrees with things I do. There are somethings that I get with this famliy but this is one issue that I am never ever going to. It's one that bothers me, and has for many years. I just want to see where this trip leads us and hopefully the outcome will help me push past it. When I look at our little girl I am so overcome with JOY! She is the best thing that has ever came into our lives, and if they want to miss it that's their problem. As my mom would say "She knows who's the best grandma in the world," yes sadly she says that, she's head over heals for this drool machine!

"stressed" is "desserts" spelt backwards

This weekend didn't go as planned. We did have our scary movie night in honor of Halloween but I still felt that it wasn't enough. Josh's friend invited him to go to the movies to see Paranormal Activity 2 but we all went, once again I was buy myself taking care of Addyson. I don't mind it sometimes but I get lonely enough during the week. Not only was it one friend but one of Josh's co-workers which is also a female went to the movies with them as well. Talk about a downer, knowing my husband was practically on a "friend date" not only with a male but a female as well and I was stuck with Addyson. I gave up so much to be a mom and why can't my husband just give up a little more. Even if I didn't really want to see that movie because I hated the first one but still I just wanted a little more consideration. After they finally got out of the movie and my butt was practically stuck to one of the chairs in the food court I was a little more than upset by that point I was kind of mad. I did buy myself a cute American Eagle sweatshirt and I got the third degree on that one. On the way home I didn't know anything about the movie so I tried making conversation and NOBODY talked to me or answered me. I felt completely excluded. I had a picture in my head while I was getting spit up on my shirt that girl was having a lovely time sitting in the middle of two guys, and I was right. I shouldn't let it bother me I am sure if Josh would have a secret relationship with a girl by now it would have happened, but I just feel like I just don't think Josh understands how I feel even though I repeat it everyday to him. So after that, I felt a little depressed and started making all kinds of things. I made cupcakes w/ pumpkins, I made snicker doodles, and then I made sugar cookies and froze some of the dough for later. I am stressed (did you know stressed is desserts spelt backwards?) because I have so much to do and I have to do it all by myself. I feel like I should just put on a cap and start calling myself "super woman!" I am sure a lot of moms/wives feel this way. I better get use to it. So then SUNDAY comes and guess what, I am all alone with just Addyson. Josh just HAD to go play the new "Fallout" for playstation at his guy friends house. So Addyson was cranky I wanted a break and yet again I am right about how Josh can't handle Addyson. Five minutes and he was screaming for me to get her. I am just so tired of everything. I am not looking forward to going home and being close to his lovely parents. I stay over here and they can stay far over there. They haven't called to apologize, to see how Addyson is doing, all they have done is text Josh to tell him that his grandma fell, or he needs to get licenses for hunting or something like that, controlling? His grandma said that I was in his mom's radar, whatever that means. I just don't know what else I can do for these people. I am tired of trying. So when we are home Addyson and I are going to see the family that truly cares. Even my brother who is busy doing 15 year old stuff still takes time to care. So I end this post with the thought that I think it's almost time for Aunt Rose to come and visit, I can feel her coming, and that is probably why I am so emotional.

A little bit of this and that...

Addyson's personality is showing, she loves to be independent and loves to venture around. She isn't close to crawling but she can sure balance on her stomach, swing her arms, and kick her legs like she is swimming. Last night I put my swimmingsuit on and put her in the tub with me. It was so fun, she sat in her bumbo and was having a good time floating around and what not. I thought it would be weird to do that with her but I did have a swimming suit on I just was probably sitting in her urine. Which luckily Josh was available to take her so I could shower afterwards. She has been going to bed at 7:30 - 8:00 and has been taking one nap a day if I am lucky I can get her down for TWO good naps. Taking care of a baby is hard work, I thought I'd get lucky and be able to bring in some money when I found an advertisement for a babysitter. Although I did forget to see that she was a Junior in highschool, she wouldn't be available when I needed her if she was at school. So I think my idea of waiting until we move is a good idea. I really regret not working during pregnancy. Knowing my luck I'd be on bed rest how fat Addyson came when I was just doing outdoor activities, but again, I do regret it. I absolutely love the fall weather. I love having to cuddle and have winter clothes on. I am not very in love with summer clothes, I hate showing my body, well now I do. I am so sore from working out but I am slowly doing it today on my own. I can't look like this when I go down there. I am sure I'll stand out from being so WHITE, I am definitely looking forward to a tan (not so much skin cancer). It's now the official count down for our trip to Idaho. We have eight days. My mom is really excited, me on the other hand am still dragging my feet. I called my mom crying because there are still things that are being jabbed at me and it just needs to be put to rest already. I am glad that my husband is supportive and our relationship has done a 180, maybe a 360 since last year. Going home not only is going to be stressful but ALL my friends moved away. I am glad one of them is closer now so I hope to see many this time I'm home, maybe keep the stress to a minimum. Not only am I lovin' fall, but I am really excited for Thanksgiving and Christmas. I spent an hour just looking at different Christmas ornaments and decorations. I really want the Willow Tree set that has the Bible story of Jesus' birthday. I just love it. Only problem is its pretty expensive. But that is one thing I want is the Willow Tree figurines as well as the ornaments

Pink Shirt Day - Addy & I

We realize that some folks are observing National Bullying Prevention Day by wearing purple to support the GLBT community. We encourage everyone to wear whichever color that starts a conversation about the importance of bullying prevention and the reduction of suicides. By working together, we can put a stop to bullying of ALL people in ALL places: kids and adults, schools and workplaces. Pink Shirt Day is a ...day to come together to make a difference in our country, promote tolerance and create a community of acceptance. Over 160,000 kids stayed home from school today because of bullies. Too often, bullying goes unreported and is perpetuated by the stigma associated with seeking help. In fact, in many cases, bullying can lead to suicide. Pink Shirt Day is LifeWays' inaugural event to promote bullying prevention in our schools, homes, workplaces and the internet. We are wearing PINK on National Bullying Prevention Day (10/20) to say to others, "The end of bullying begins with me!" Why pink? In 2007, two high school seniors in Nova Scotia, David Shepherd and Travis Price, stood up for a fellow male freshman student who was being bullied on the first day of school for wearing a pink shirt. David and Travis heard about it, bought a bunch of pink shirts, handed them out and texted their friends to wear pink. The next day, nearly the entire student body was wearing pink. By wearing pink, we'll be telling the community that bullying is not okay. No pink shirt? No problem! You don't have to wear a pink shirt to show your support: it can be as simple as a pink necktie, t-shirt or jewelry. Join us on October 20th to take a stand and lend a hand. Together, we can save lives.

Personal Trainer in my Future?

Yesterday I started working out but I am letting Josh help me at home. BAD IDEA. He should honestly be a personal trainer just not my personal trainer. I am sore in my abs and my "love handles" but I am not liking working with him, I just feel that he looks down on me and as a husband he shouldn't have to see me in my "working" out mode. So after we got done he told me he'd fine me a personal trainer at the gym. I really hope he does, I hope it doesn't cost tooo much. I want to be in good shape before we move to California. He said he are going there unless the "dealer" decides that he doesn't need to be there and he is up for picking orders again. We will see. But man, a personal trainer like Jackie off that one show it would be worth ittttt, I need to look good again.