Military Spouse Appreciation

Yesterday was Military Spouse Appreciation Day. I am very thankful to be a spouse to an incredible sailor who takes his job seriously in the USN. Like I said in my passed posted, I do respect the USN and the military, I just don't understand how they do things. I am thankful I didn't have to pay a dime to have my daughter, we've had food in our bellies and clothes on our backs. But in all honest, my heart is aching. This whole day I didn't even want to think about it. I respect each spouse and how they are raising their kids without their husbands, I know its not an easy task. But for me, personally, I just can't wrap my heart around this day with what is going on. The military is taking my husband, taking my husband away from his daughter and me, taking him away for a reason that I just don't understand. I'm going to be alone, alone celebrating my daughters birthday, alone at night in my bed, alone on weekends which I long for just to spend time together. Yes, all spouse are going through this, each and every day through deployment, but for me, I feel like it should be different for me. Is that selfish? I'm scared on what the outcome is going to be Tuesday. I hate knowing that Tuesday morning will be the last time I get to hold, speak, and see my husband. If this was for deployment I think I'd be a whole different person. I just feel so different inside. On a side note; Happy Military Spouse Appreciation Day! (I think our Forest City is slacking this year, I was looking forward to a pedi ;) )