Whats been going on here at the Stuarts? (Coming clean..)
For over a month now I have been at home going crazy about what my husband is dragged into and what the outcome is going to be. Its been over a month since a guy who we thought was a decent guy took his cellphone and started taping a female in the shower. This guy is disgusting, low-life, pervert. How is Josh involved in this? Well before this guy did what he did, he told Josh that he is going to do this to the female (thinking it was a prank.. but I don't get where that's a prank, yes the woman is kind of a "slore" (combined slut & whore) but still she is human and has emotions) and Josh told him not to do it but he did it anyways. The female obviously found the the box that the cellphone was taped to and seen the lens through a tiny hole (which till this day I don't see how someone that is blind as a bat can see that, unless she found it after she got out of the shower and put her glasses back on... I'm still lost there.) and took it to the front desk and after that Josh and Aaron were hauled off to be questioned. Aaron told Josh he'd tell them that Josh didn't know about it and leave him out. Josh went along with it to keep his family safe. (which wasn't a bright idea...) and in the end Aaron told the investigation team that Josh was aware of what he was thinking of doing and was involved? What a friend right!? For one, Josh did lie to me and told me that he didn't know ANYTHING about this "prank" but later came and told me he did. I was so upset. I'm still not over that he lied to me, but I know my husband wouldn't do something that is so gross. What really hurts me is we brought this man into our home because he had nobody and he spent the night here, what if he did something like that to me, I am so disgusted. He was around my daughter, what if he has some sick fantasy of doing stuff to little babies, Addyson NEVER liked him, maybe that's a sign. I've been replaying every moment over and over in my head, I am just blown away. It sure made me realize that even if we are a military family and we'll meet people all over, there are some that are very whacked in the head. I know this girl at first probably felt humiliated, but what I hear about her and how she is taking this, is making me feel angry at her. I won't talk badly about her on my blog, but there are a lot of words that I could use to describe her. I feel like she is using this as a stepping stone to get what she wants out of the Navy, and I am not the only person here that thinks that. When I seen her grocery shopping, which I was completely shocked about seeing her I never see her anywhere, you'd think I seen a ghost. My face turned white, and I started getting clammy. Reason why? She put a restraining order on Josh here in Oak Harbor (even though there is one for Base, but apparently it doesn't work here in town) so he and his family have to stay 100 ft away from her, which is TOTALLY ok with us I never want to see her again for as long as I life, and I could care less. I was scared she would be a spazz and call the police because that's just what I thought she would do, and the police would take Josh away from us. Everyday I wake up and it seriously takes all that I can to get out of bed to start the day with my daughter. I sit here waiting for my husband to call me to tell me he is getting his punishment. The Commanding Officer is the one that is going to tell him whats going to happen to him. She can kick him out, give him restriction, take away half of his pay for 2 months, give him extra duty, do all this and then kick him out, slap him on the wrist (which isn't gonna happen) and take it to court marshall where we'd have to get a lawyer. We try to stay positive but it's hard when you get people who are suppose to be helping you through this give you so much negative back. I think if I were to ever see this guy I'd ask him a few questions but what I really just want to do is spit in his face, he's no better than the toilet I crap in. So still its Thursday and I sit here, holding back the tears, because my husbands reputation is torn, my husband could be ripped away from his family, not see his daughters first birthday, and then be booted out of something he tried hard to get into, he always wanted to serve in the military, but I guess we are finding out what the military is all about. Nothing what we thought it was going to be like.
Military Pay.
Josh came home yesterday and said that they aren't going to get paid on the 15th like we usually do. I just brushed that off because earlier it was going around and never happened. Well I posted on facebook that I heard about not getting paid for military and now people are posting all sorts of things. One person posted something off of military.com some website in that line. Here's some of the article: I lived through several “government shutdowns” as an active-duty military spouse. One of them, during the Carter administration (1979–80 time frame I believe), resulted in delayed military paychecks. I can tell you it is survivable, and probably with very little damage if you react in a level-headed and responsible manner. You see, a “government shutdown” doesn’t really mean a TOTAL shutdown of the government. Only non-essential functions are shut down. Certain essential functions must continue, regardless. The military is one of them, along with other agencies like the FBI and Social Security. So all military personnel will continue to report for duty as usual. As far as you’re concerned, the major way you would be affected is that your paycheck may be delayed slightly, but it will come eventually. Some civilian government employees, which may include some military spouses, may face temporary furloughs, and there is a question whether they will receive pay for any furloughed time. They have in the past, but there is no guarantee they will be paid this time. and then.. it give yous you steps: First: DON’T PANIC. You will survive. And if you keep your head about you, your family will survive in better shape. DON’T rush out to get a payday loan if your paycheck is going to be delayed. That would be probably the most detrimental reaction for yourself or your family. The situation is not dire enough to justify such a reaction. DON’T make any sort of knee-jerk overreaction. Take a wait-and-see attitude, but have a contingency plan. There’s a good chance Congress will solve the problem. They usually do. DON’T worry that you will be evicted or your car will be repossessed or your credit will be ruined if your payments are late one time. They won’t. Late payments aren’t even reported till they’re more than 30 days late. And evictions and repossessions don’t happen until you’ve missed several payments (usually 3 or more). DO stay calm about it. Talk with your spouse and come up with a plan for your family to weather this crisis, if it occurs. Look carefully at expenses, and see where you can slash expenses till your paycheck catches up. Be ruthless. If it’s not essential to survival – milk for the baby, not sugary snacks for the kids – it has to wait. No new clothes, no movies, no eating out, no non-essentials until you get paid. Less beer and fewer cigarettes would be good for you, too. DO be prepared to talk with your regular creditors and explain that your family depends on your government paycheck, and until it arrives, you will have no way to pay them. Promise them that as soon as you receive your paycheck, you will pay them. Then DO IT! When we experienced a delay in receiving our military paycheck, I wrote letters (better than a phone call, and creates a permanent record for you and them) to the landlord and to all our “regular” bills, utilities, telephone, etc. I explained that my husband was on active duty, and that due to circumstances outside our control, our pay was being delayed until Congress reached agreement. I continued that I was very sorry, but until we received our pay, we would be unable to pay our bills. Then I thanked them for their understanding and their support. I don’t remember having a single problem as a result (other than some stress over it). The budget tug-of-war was prominent in the news, and they knew I was telling the truth. It helped that we had a history of making our payments on time. It was a long time ago, but I think only one paycheck was delayed, and everything was fixed before the second paycheck came due. Today’s military families also have an advantage that we didn’t. At that time, everyone was paid with physical checks, so someone had to actually “cut” and print and distribute pieces of paper. Today, your pay is electronically deposited to your bank account, so it’s all automated and can happen with involvement of fewer actual people. Given those circumstances, there’s a chance that even in the event of a government shutdown, your pay may not be affected at all. I have seen reports that Social Security payments, which are on a similar automated deposit system, would go out as usual even if there’s a government shutdown, so that lends some credence to the idea that military paychecks may not be affected. If your pay is delayed, and you have automatic debits in place, you may need to notify those creditors NOT to take the automatic debit until you notify them that it’s OK, because otherwise they will bounce. In the event that something does bounce, talk to your bank and ask them to waive any overdraft fees because the overdraft was due to circumstances beyond your control. Also ask any creditors to waive late payment fees if they’re assessed, because the late payment was outside your control. They should be willing to do that, especially if you usually make your payments on time. This is one time when it’s definitely to your advantage to do your banking with someone who understands the military lifestyle, like USAA. Once this crisis (if it turns out to be one) is over, use it as an opportunity to sit down with your spouse and have a serious conversation about your family finances. Let this be the first step towards creating a family budget that will allow you to set aside some savings so you won’t be in such a panic should some other unforeseen circumstance arise in the future. You don’t want your family to constantly be one paycheck away from a total disaster. Creating a budget and setting aside some savings will pay big dividends for your family, not just in terms of financial preparedness for the future, but also in terms of peace of mind. And as the commercials say, that’s “priceless.” Thank you, Janet, for your unique perspective and sound advice. So this is my venting blog about the military. I am very thankful for all it has done for me, and sometimes it just really sucks how it works. They just punish the innocent without taking other actions. They kick out the over weight because a person has a smaller neck than his waist. Now they take away pay from even deployed military. Lovely life. Maybe if Josh gets kicked out we won't have to deal with this political mess anymore, and just deal with our life? Does it even work like that?
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