the wait it hard

Waiting to see what is going to happen not only to my husband but my daughter & I is the worst feeling in the world. I've been going to Mandy & Joe's so that has been distracting me but I find my self ALWAYS thinking about it and have to catch myself before I go into tears. I wish there was a way that we can rewind, but that's a long shot. I just pray so hard, I hold my hands together so tight that it leaves imprints. Nobody knows how I feel. My heart feels like its going to explode, my eyes can't take the constant running river, and I can't sleep anymore. I stayed up way later last night, Which I will pay for today. I have a hard time getting off the couch, but today I am going to try and keep busy. I love my husband for "trying" to keep us out of this situation from work, but I hate him for not saying the WHOLE truth and lying to me and everyone he loves. I know one thing, he wasn't involved in this SICK MAN's idea of doing what he did. I am ashamed that we considered him a friend. I am also ashamed we were friends with the girl. This girl she needs a reality check and that guy needs everything that is coming to him, he doesn't deserve anything he has. I could spit on him if I were to be in his present. But I'd probably have a hard time keeping my mouth shut if I seen this girl, who is just an attention hog. Go Figure, this happens to us!