not a word.

I've tried to hear my sisters voice since I found out, She hasn't returned my calls, and yesterday she had to go to the drs. to get cleaned up. I wish I was there. It angers me that no one was with her that could have been, if I was only two hours from home I'd be there in a heart beat, but with one vehicle at the moment (since Josh hasn't fixed the jeep) I can't be there. Her boyfriends grandma said she seems ok, but I am so worried. I just wish school could keep her mind off this, but her boyfriend probably would distract her even more than he already has. Why does "love" blind people so bad? And why do people give up so easily? I hope I never give up on Addyson, no matter what her choices are, I want to be strong.

Sara Evans - A Little Bit Stronger

sorry I'm not there..

As days go by without you here
I'm sorry sister I'm not there.
My heart is there with you
and my arms are squeezing you tight.
I want to take away all your pain
and tell you its gonna be alright.
by; me

My little brother wrote me and my mom tried calling to tell me my sister lost her baby Thursday night. She was four months along, we have no idea what could have happened, but it had to be all in God's hands and he must have had a reason. She hasn't talked to any of my family about anything. I can't stop crying, I called her last night and waited for hours for her to call but she never did, I fell asleep waiting. I talked to many people most of her boyfriends family. If the baby doesn't pass through naturally they have to go back on Sunday. I am mad at the doctor for not taking care of my sister better, just letting her walk around with her dead baby inside her and be in pain. I want to drive home right now, but I know I can't. I'm so miserable. I love her so much and I hope she knows that. I feel terrible that we got in a little fight the other day. I wish I never put any stress on her about moving back home where its safe, I wish I just gave her more space than I already did. I'm just going to wait for to call me, that way I am not bothering her but I am so scared and worried.

New Highchair & New Clothes.

I had to get a new highchair the one I picked up from a Navy house that was free is HORRIBLE! No wonder it was free. I always bang things off the legs, its so bulky and takes up all the room in our house. I am so glad to say BYE to that sucker! We got her a cute new one that comes with an extra seat cover w/ poka dots (right now its pink & brown). Addyson LOVES it. She already spilt her bottle on it. With one push of a button it is as slim as a piece of paper, It's going to save my life, I think its benefitting me more than her. I JUST LOVE IT! Yesterday was also our first trip to costco with our new membership (thanks to Josh's grandma for putting us on it w/o telling us we were until she already did it). We got a big thing of diapers, we are set for at least a month and wipes for at least two! I'm so excited. Addyson got tons of new clothes yesterday I won't say how much I spent but it was a lot. She got new outfits for summer, and new jammers, and new slippers! She is one spoiled baby and it shows. Now I have to go take care of my sick daughter, she has a nasty cold, her nose is gross, I'm just tired of everyone being sick, Josh is worse than Addyson.

Ears Pierced :)

Yesterday my whole little family of three went on a shopping spree. Literally. One thing we were set out to do is get Addyson's ears done. She is now looking like a big girl! My mom was so excited she kept calling me, but me, I was scared to do it! I was shaking in the chair and my daughter was the one going through it, but I didn't want her to deep down. She screamed and cried for a little while and then once I got out of the chair with her she looked at the lady and gave her the face that was so sad but yet so mad. She is doing really well with her ears, doesn't even bother her, we'll see today when I clean them. What a little princess!