I think I am the ONLY person in the ENTIRE military housing that puts a big orange "S" in their front window. I was going to make a spider web but its hard to do something like that when I am here with a baby by myself. She usually has a high pitch scream that drives me crazy so I avoid trying to have her do it. But "S" for STUART :)
On the other hand I had a break down last night. I don't know how many husbands tell their wife they are ugly. OK, So before we get all mad at Josh, we have been having little "funny fights" at each other and I think last night it went to far. Josh ended up saying I was ugly and other things that shouldn't be mentioned. I was really upset and started crying. He knew I was crying but didn't really "know" I was crying. If that makes any sense. Lately I've been really down on myself because I keep watching these "programs" in the morning that come on before the actually t.v. shows in the morning start and they were talking about a "muffin" I was like oh great I have a muffin! I still haven't got back down to my weight before I had Addyson, I can get my bigness into my size 7 jeans but my stomach isn't where it looks good. I struggle wearing shirts, I rather wear over sized ones or sweatshirts. I can't even wear my beautiful blue cashmere sweater that I got last fall. I just feel like an over sized muffin top! Anyways, he didn't know I've been hard on myself and it just really pushed me. Made me feel even more insecure. We had a long talk last night and I cried so much I just fell asleep as soon as my head hit my pillow. I need to get more strict with my diet. I am doing alright on it but then I bake a new recipe and it just all goes down the drain for two days. I think if I get the hang of drinking 3 liters of water a day like I am suppose to and start a weekly gym schedule I will get there. I just need encouragement and a push from my lovely thoughtful husband.
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